Total Frat Move Finds Controversy; Says No to Girls with Short Hair

By Taylor Brim on November 8, 2013

The year of 2013 has been no stranger to controversy. Between the government shut down and Miley’s vivacious tongue, we have enough squabble and scandal to compete with an exposed Janet Jackson. Yet there seems to be a common thread throughout the year’s scandals, they all feel relevant. Healthcare reform, naked Disney pop stars, decriminalization of marijuana, and legalization of gay marriage all reflect an ever-changing and (somewhat) adaptable society.

That’s why whenever I found myself on the popular TotalFratMove.com, a website of articles and social commentary from Greek organizations around the country, I thought I had traveled back in time. Surely, a website whose top trending article is “Why Girls Should Not Cut Their Hair Short” is from an ancient era, not in the 21st century where gender equality has become the societal norm? But as much as I would have loved to find myself in a standoff with Biff Tannen while Doc yells “GREAT SCOTT, MARTY”, I did not time travel. The article was published less than 24 hours ago and is already a top-read article, according to the site.

Screenshot of the article

 

The author spends the majority of the text highlighting celebrities who have opted for the short ‘do, explaining how less attractive they were post pixie cut. Examples are Beyoncè, Rihanna, and Emma Watson. Alas, even the beautiful Jennifer Lawrence was targeted by the article, claiming they would only “bang her if she lost ten pounds” and her haircut result was as equally disastrous. These comparisons serve as a foundation for his main point, that if they can’t pull it off, then neither will you.

Don’t worry though, the article is not entirely void of perspective! It addresses the “But, we don’t cut our hair for you, we cut it for ourselves!” counterarguments by stating short hair will not only hurt your chances with a guy, but will inevitably cause lack of self-esteem:

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