How to Deal With Difficult Roommates

By Abigail Reyes on April 1, 2014

 

Your dorm should be a place where you can have fun, chill-out and relax, but when you’re living with a difficult roommate your dorm can become a stressful place to be. Roommate problems can unnecessarily add to the already stress-laden lives of college students, which can lead to anxiety and mental problems. Most students have enough to worry about, trying to keep their grades up while having a social life and working at the same time, and the last thing they need is to go to their dorm at the end of the day, afraid that their roommate will be there.  No one can thrive in such sort of tension-laden environment. Whether you are dealing with moral, cultural or personal differences, here are some tips that can help you rectify your relationship with your roommate. As long as you can form an amicable agreement, your relationship with your roommate will be peaceful.

1.    Be kind and respectful. Kindness really does go a long way when you’re dealing with difficult roommates, especially if they’re cruel and unfair to you. Smile and be polite, and they’ll wonder why they ever treated you so harshly.

 

2.    Stay calm. When it comes time to confront the person about their negative behavior, try to stay calm and not raise your voice, even if they are raising theirs. Remember that you can’t put out fire with fire. Try to understand where the person is coming from, so that you can be more compassionate when you confront them.

 

3.    Speak up. Talk to your roommate and make sure that they know how you feel. Most conflicts can be solved by having a conversation, rather than assuming they will eventually fix themselves.

 

4.    Leave the room. If there’s too much tension in the room or your roommate is doing something in your room that you are uncomfortable with, you don’t need to be there. You can always go and spend time somewhere else, like the library or your friend’s room. If living with your roommate has become really unbearable, request a change and talk to a housing advisor.

 

5.    Forgive. Forgiving your roommate for the difficulties that he or she may be causing you is a great way for you to release yourself from the negative emotions, like bitterness or anger, which you may be feeling towards them. Don’t live with resentment. They can live their life however they please, but it does not need to affect you if you don’t want it to. Even if they don’t deserve it, forgive them for your own sanity and emotional health.   

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