Kylie Jenner Is The Future Of The Kardashians

By John Wong on April 20, 2015

Let’s be honest with ourselves, do any of us actually still give a sh*t about the Kardashians anymore?

I mean sure, they’re hot and sometimes it’s funny to watch them bitch about getting their anuses bleached on national television, but it’s time to get real.

Kim peaked in 2011, right before she married and divorced that goon Kris (Whatshislastname??) and in case you missed it, Kourtney and Khloé are still alive and living in Kim’s perfectly-manufactured shadow. Kris is showing signs of wear and tear after pimping out her daughters for millions of dollars each and every day, and do I really need to get into Rob’s weight gain? Oh, and Bruce lost all his credibility the second he made that creepy Jane Fonda knockoff workout video with Kris (seriously, this exists).

Now, you might be thinking to yourself, “Was there a typo made in the title of this article? Surely he means Kendall – the young, beautiful, talented, world-famous fashion model and occasional Instagram provocateur?” But alas, no, my friends. I do, indeed, believe that it is Kylie Jenner, the youngest of the Kardashian crew, who represents the future of the Kardashian brand. Here’s why:

1) The No-F*cks-Given Attitude

All it takes is a 30 second scroll through her Instagram account for you to realize that Kylie is the HBIC, and doesn’t care what you have to think. In between hawking the Chinese-made Kardashian-branded items that a normal person would never need, Kylie’s showing us what someone’s college tuition looks like as jewelry on your wrist, a bikini that no loving father would ever let their daughter share on social media, Benzes/Range Rovers/Lambos, and some eyebrow-raising pictures of her with the rumored man candy, rapper Big Sean.

But at the end of the day, that’s what makes Kylie great. She’s rich, she’s hot and she knows it. And the fact that she’s (possibly) dating a guy who’s 8 years older and raps about French kissing “hairless p*ssy and it doesn’t faze Kris Jenner one bit is actually kind of admirable. It just shows the girl really DGAF.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/91/42/13/9142135561ededd33a103ead79ee55c1.jpg

2) The Hair

This is 50% of the reason Kylie Jenner is famous, the other 50% being her lips. Kylie makes sure that when she’s not making headlines for pictures like these, she’s changing her hair color into one that says “I saw this on Tumblr somewhere” and “hipster” or something like that.

http://media2.popsugar-assets.com/files/2014/11/24/799/n/1922153/43f19f5e3fbd21c2_thumb_temp_cover_file157414991416850382uyENLi.xxxlarge/i/Kylie-Jenner-Makeup-2014-American-Music-Awards.jpg

http://media2.popsugar-assets.com/files/2014/11/24/799/n/1922153/43f19f5e3fbd21c2_thumb_temp_cover_file157414991416850382uyENLi.xxxlarge/i/Kylie-Jenner-Makeup-2014-American-Music-Awards.jpg

3) The Lips

In case you were wondering, I’m on the side that says they’re real. As in, no injections, 100% drawn-on makeup. For the record, I also believe Kim’s ass is real as well.

http://cdn.theglow.com.au/app/uploads/2014/09/kylie-jenner-lips-2.jpg

4) The fact that she wore this to Coachella.

5) Her Influence

Speaking of Kim, while whatever Mrs. West wears is probably going to send fashion writers into a tizzy, Kylie exercises much influence over today’s pop culture as well. Which other Kardashian family member can claim that the “Kylie Jenner challenge” is named after them, with countless teenage girls participating and uploading pictures and videos of themselves doing it?

And yes, the challenge does involve young girls using shot glasses as a suction cup to achieve that (definitely sans injection) plumped-up lips look that Kylie is famous for.

http://cosmouk.cdnds.net/15/17/980×490/landscape_nrm_1429537367-kylie_jenner_lip_challenge.jpg

What you just read and saw right there was the culmination of the next Kardashian it-girl. Sure, Kim and the Kimettes are still making headlines for waking up in the morning, and Kendall parties with supermodels and rappers the world over, but just give it time, folks. Soon, the underdog, Kylie Jenner, will ascend to her rightful place as Kween Kardashian, and she won’t even have to blow some B-list singer to do it.

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